As someone who was fascinated with killing themselves as a child/teenager, I find it to be a gigantic compliment when people support my parenting of Connor. If you know what I’ve done to myself and then relate it to how I treat my son, then thank you for staying around long enough to see the difference. It makes me sad that I took my life for granted for so long. I wish I could go back and change a few things, so I can feel better about myself, but I’ve been coming to terms with all of the bullshit that has occurred in my life. I no longer hate Nathan; I feel sorry for him. Which is a big step. I’m going to tell Connor why I loved his father and that Josh has and will always be his father figure. Nathan told me I’d find the right person for Connor and I, but I didn’t know it would take so long, and also so short of a time. I wish I had stumbled upon Josh sooner, and that’s my only regret. He’s perfect and I love him. I still can’t believe I was so determined to kill myself before I graduated high school and now I have a family. My parents both have a relationship with me now, Connor continues to be make me feel mad and deeply in love all at the same time, Nikki and Ashley continue to love me (and their godson) every day, and I spend all of my time with the most perfect guy I’ve ever met. 6:00 am rant over.

I’m sick of tumblr malfunctioning. I just want to creep on strangers without getting booted off their page.